When you have hearing loss, it’s sometimes hard to make yourself get out of the house. It can be hard to accept invitations or make commitments. If you do accept, you may tell yourself you always have the option not to go. And often you don’t go. It can drive even your dearest friends and family crazy.
We all know this isn’t good for our cognitive health. Every study notes the importance of social interaction. It’s not good for our mental health either. Isolation can be an unacknowledged consequence of hearing loss. Depression a consequence of isolation. Put them together — depression, isolation, and hearing loss — and you’ve got a triple whammy risk for cognitive decline.
I made a New Year’s resolution. New Year, new attitude. Instead of no, my default response is going to be yes. Yes, thank you. Yes, I’d love to. Yes, I can do that, no problem. Yes, I’m available. Yes, you can count on me.
How about you? Did you make a New Year’s resolution? Did it have anything to do with hearing loss? Please share ideas in the comments. Happy New Year!
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For more about living with hearing loss, read my memoir Shouting Won’t Help, and for more practical advice try Smart Hearing. Both are available as Kindle or paperback.
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Katherine Bouton: Smart Hearing 
Always a good strategy! Years ago my friend, Lynne decided that she was getting a wee bit too curmudgeonly and resolved to say, “Yes! Let’s!” to any invitations that came her way. That sounded like a good idea so I did it too, and we both cheered up markedly. Now I do it in her memory. And it still cheers me up and breaks down the isolation.
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That’s a nice story, and I’m sorry she’s gone. We need friends like that.
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This is good, and timely, Katherine, thank you! I talked myself out of a solo trip abroad last year because of my hearing issues – hard enough without accents thrown in – and was chided by someone who thought the only issue was the English language, which “everyone knows”! Ha! So have begun to rethink that, especially after watching one of Rick Steves’ PBS shows. Just hard when our personal world feels like it’s shrinking bit by bit with unwelcome limitations.
Anyway, great article, I enjoy your writing, have your books, so a fan to be sure.
Joy Schneider, Bloomington, MN
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For many years, I traveled in groups by myself. Although it was a challenge because I have a profound hearing loss, I enjoyed myself because I took advantage of the assistive listening systems the staff at the Center for Hearing and Communication set me up with. Now we have the advantage of captioning on our cell phones. My advice, equip yourself with the best possible devices and enjoy the beauty of the world.
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For some reason, WordPress is not giving your name, but I’d love to hear more about how you manage solo. Could you write to me at katherinebouton@gmail.com, or add to this comment?
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Thank you Joy, and maybe we’ll meet on a trip somewhere!
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A spirit is afoot. You are the third person in the past week that has told me they are adapting a “just say yes” attitude this year. Life adventures await! ❤️
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Maybe because we have so little control over public life, more of us are determined to do our best with our personal lives.
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Saying yes to invitations is easier said than done when you have a hearing issue. I said yes to an invitation and was happy to go. When I arrived, I heard the first person fine but with the second person I got bits and pieces of what they were saying. The third person I could not hear at all and left. There was background noise which didn’t help. Then I went to an event at my public library. Unfortunately, there were no microphones. The librarian made an introduction which I could not hear. Then the instructor began but again I got bits and pieces of what was said so I left. It is very tiresome to have to struggle to hear what is being said. My Audiologist has informed me that one ear is not good and mentioned a cochlear implant and referred me to an ENT doctor. The ENT doctor recommended an MRI of the head and possible implant. It was all overwhelming. As I am getting on in years, I don’t know whether to embark on this journey with the ear. I don’t know which way to go with it. Anyway if you have good hearing devices and can hear well enough you should say yes as it will certainly lift the spirits.
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I know exactly what you’re saying. I too avoided social situations for many years, but as I’ve gotten older I realize there are ways I can enjoy them. My gut reaction is always to say no, but if I make myself go, i’m usually glad I did. One strategy I use is to drift around a party until I find someone I can hear pretty clearly, and then stick with that person for a while. If it’s a party where everyone is standing up, I try to sit and talk to someone — that way, competing voices are over our heads. The post I did right after this one is about speech in noise — it’s a huge problem.
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