There’s nothing like a cheerful holiday gathering of family and friends to challenge your hearing.
For me, the solution is to be the host. Yes, this is a lot of work, a lot of cooking, a lot of dishes to wash. But I’m on optimal turf, at least when it comes to hearing.
My living/dining area has rugs on the floor and overstuffed furniture, which help absorb the noise. My dining-table is oval and seats 6 comfortably, eight in a pinch. I know which seat optimizes my hearing (my back to the kitchen, empty because we’re all at the table). I can maneuver to have someone with a good voice sitting on my “good” side. I control the lighting and the ambient noise — no background music!
Being the host also offers the excuse to get up and walk away when things get overwhelming. Refill a serving dish, get a new bottle of wine, put the dishes in the sink, get the dessert ready. Sometimes people offer to help but I usually decline because I know if they’re helping they’ll also be talking to me — it’s only polite — and I won’t hear them.
I did a lot of hosting this holiday season — including Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners, and a lively cocktail party for my daughter and her husband, with most of the guests 40 and under, including a few babies — a noisy lot. One benefit of a big party is that you can drift from one person to the next until you come to someone you can actually hear. And again, being the host offers ample opportunity to disappear into the kitchen for a hearing break.
I’m sure others have tricks about surviving the holidays. Please share them in the comments.
My web address has changed. You can access my blog at katherinebouton.me. This post is a test. Hope it works. Contact me at katherinebouton@gmail.com with any questions or comments.
Happy New Year!
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I agree, Katherine. Being the host at home allows me to control my environment and “escape” noise when necessary. I like serving buffet style. People help themselves to food and gather in several groups in the living dining area, allowing me to participate in different conversations.
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Good advice from a former event planner! Thanks Ruth.
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We’re a small holiday group, no more than 5 or 6. I do Thanksgiving at my apartment which is great because I have “rooms” that contain any conversations. We celebrate Christmas at my sister’s home which has an open floor plan and noise is everywhere, especially with football games on both TV’s! At one point I actually had to go into her guest bathroom to have a conversation with a sick relative who couldn’t be with us! This article has great tips, and I will hold on to it for future reference!
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Best to you Katherine!
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Those were the days when I entertained and had the time and energy but not any more. My vestibular migraines, tinnitus, hyperacusis and bilateral hearing loss among other head injuries keep me from doing any of that going forward. My husband and I keep to ourselves and quietly celebrate without noise so that I am not in misery all of the time. Memories will have to keep me happy for now.
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Hi Eloise, That sounds like a lot to deal with. I had a very hard time myself a while ago, but I finally got the vestibular-migraine vertigo under control and my hearing aid and cochlear implant both seem to be working well. I don’t know if you attend our HLAA-NYC chapter meetings but they’re a good way to get out without actually going out. They’re free, captioned, on Zoom and open to all. You can find out more on our website hearinglossnyc.org.
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Wishing everyone a Happy and (Relatively) Healthy New Year!
Like Eloise Schwarz, I, too, find it more comfortable to celebrate holidays and personal events like birthdays in relative peace and quiet. I’m tired of trying to figure out what I can do to hear people across my dining room table, or people who insist on saying something even though someone else is speaking.
My husband and I rarely go out to public places any more, (and truth to tell, it’s not easy to find a place where you can hear yourself think!) Rather, we enjoy a quieter form of entertainment, such as watching, with captions, of course, a fine TV series such as “The Crown.” We did this on New Year’s Eve, and almost missed the ball dropping, so caught up were we while Queen Elizabeth was trying to help her sister, Margaret, find a suitable spouse!
Please note that my husband and I are in our 80’s, both hard-of-hearing (though mine is worse), and not technologically advanced enough to make use of the new gadgets that will supposedly help you hear better when hearing aids alone are not enough! What we will do is go out for dinner with just one other couple, choose the quietest restaurant we can find, ask for a table in a corner or against a wall, and make early reservations to avoid the crowds!
Best regards!
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Thanks Phyllis, I loved The Crown — a great way to spend New Year’s Eve. I watched a movie on TV and then got in bed to watch the fireworks in Central Park (NYC) over the rooftops. I can see them from my pillow.
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I think you’ve come up w the perfect solution. I don’t have the room to entertain nor the inclination so I arrange w my host to be their chief number 1 helper. This affords me some of the same advantages you mention but spares me responsibilities and gives the host a hand.
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Maybe it’s just that I’ve become more aware over the years or most restaurants are still not hearing friendly. I thought I was being so clever and brought my mini mike to use at a holiday lunch with friends at a nice place and found out that placing it on the table doesn’t just amplify the voices of those around me but all the residual noise around us. So much for my “smart” planning. Back to the drawing board. The best strategy I’ve found is grabbing the right seat for myself to focus on what I really want to hear.
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Welcome back!!!
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Katherine, thank you for giving me a new perspective on hosting in my own home. I had become increasingly annoyed over the years with always inviting family here without anyone ever reciprocating. My husband and I were ready to just stop doing it. But now you’ve given me a new way to look at hosting and being in control in my own home. There is a lot of benefit that I didn’t really think about and appreciate!
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